It's that day after feeling..

I am cold and I pretty much hate being cold. I think it was all part of the universe's birthday present to me: winter. And here I thought I was handling last week so well! Well no wonder if it really was in the 60's! That's all gone now and we're in serious winter business now.

I'm not certain if it's the shift in weather, old age creeping up one year at a time, or a matter of overstaying my welcome, but I feel done with New York. Obviously I can't just run away this moment - I have responsibilities and things to consider and take care of - but it does sound quite appealing. Yesterday I was talking with my mom about how things come to be in our lives, and how big changes manifest. It's all quite interesting. Once you have actually determined that you have had enough of a given circumstance, you then have to prove to the universe that you are indeed ready and willing to move forward and aren't somehow still attached to the way things are...And if that's not enough, then you have to wait for it all to unfold. Waiting. I know I have never overflowed with patience, but surely all the practice I keep getting has gotten me somewhere! Yet I have itchy palms and want to know what's next and when (and maybe even how, though I won't say that aloud). I think it's true when they say (who are "they" again?) that if we aren't moving forward we must be moving backwards. There is no stillness even if sometimes things feel positively STAGNANT. Something is brewing and things are sliding into place out there to allow for the new ideas and dreams to begin to be realized.

So many thoughts and words right now...but perhaps now is a good time to be off and stimulate my triple heater meridian to warm up, and think up some grand new life goals...like brand new, but grander! I like that.

Starting out somewhere...

In a world ever increasing in the number and complexity of gadgets and electronic "stuff", I have been resistant (to say the least) to join the masses. I guess it could be considered laziness, but I almost feel like even if I were to try and keep up with the latest and greatest inventions, I would still be behind. And then I ask myself if all the time spent behind these machines is what life is about?

But in a bid to put it out there and be open-minded and so as not to be left behind in the world, here I am...blogging.

I have just returned from almost two months away from my work, my husband, my yoga practice and my sweet cat, and I find myself disoriented. Understatement perhaps, but I like the word. My experience was fulfilling and refreshing to a deeper part of me that has been dormant for the past 3 years. You see I know now as clearly as I have ever known, that I NEED to travel. It's not really a luxury, I have concluded, but an actual need. I love the smell that hits you as you enter a new country. I love hearing a new accent or language. I love being surrounded but stuff I don't see all the time. And mostly, for this trip, I loved being with people I adore. I have an amazing ability to make brilliant friendships with people who are like myself or worse when it comes to country hopping. I currently have 2 sisters in England, one in Boston, cousins in South Africa, and friends scatter farther and wider than I would like. Why can't we all pick the same place to be? But as I know full well, we are all on our own paths to great things, and I wouldn't love these people as much as I do if they weren't the adventurous, crazy people they are. So it leaves only one solution - lots of travel.

What struck me most coming back was how stiff I was. I have returned to a state I like to call Blobville - the feeling I have when I haven't done yoga for over a week. Of course add 6 weeks to that and it's positively disgusting. It's strange for me the ebb and flow my own practice takes. There are times when I can't get enough and I have gone to 3 classes a day, 5 days a week. But lately I have been less inclined. In part I feel it was the apathy that had hit, but perhaps if I dig deeper it will reveal more. And as a yoga teacher it seems to be such a faux pas to make such a confession, but since yoga is more than asanas, for me I guess it is part of my practice. Now I'm back to teaching, back to practicing and all I can think about is massage work...And so I guess that's why I like balance work, because life is one big balancing act. Trying to figure out how much of each element to include on a given day to stay fulfilled and happy.

Time will surely reveal more...